The Rundown Remastered

I fall off the blogging wagon a lot. Not because I’m lazy but because I lose track of the purpose. Am I trying to motivate/entertain others? I would like to, but who is actually reading this? And are they getting something out of it? How did you find this blog? Will you read another post? Do you like playing 21 questions?

A wise man once said to me, “you don’t blog for others, you blog for yourself”. I believe that is the truest blogging-related wisdom there is. 

I don’t run to be fit. I don’t run to impress others. I run for my own sanity. I run to hear the wind whipping past my face and to feel the oxygen flooding my lungs. As my feet hit the pavement I can almost hear the stress of the day eating my dust, falling further and further behind me until I have an unbeatable lead. 

A feeling like that never leaves you. It infiltrates your mind until nothing else stands a chance. 

I will write for myself but I hope to touch your inner running soul and help you find what it is you’re searching for.

If you run to be skinny, I wish you all the best. If you run to feel alive, welcome.

The Point

Some days it feels like everything in me is asking “what’s the point?”. On those days I wake up and seriously contemplate calling in sick to work (except I don’t because I don’t have any PTO days left). I actually used to call in sick all the time when I was younger and “PTO” didn’t exist (well not at the local garden shop anyway), but I would get so overcome with guilt that I would end up wasting the whole day worrying I would get caught in a lie.

I’m not sure why I just told you that but now you know that I literally feel guilty about everything. I have a million frequent flyer miles from all the guilt trips I go on. (This entire paragraph was pointless except I JUST made that joke up right now and I’m really impressed with myself)

Anyway, at the end of days like that I come home, throw my bag on my bed, and just sit and stare at the wall in my room. What am I even doing with my life? Am I on the right path? Do I have plausible life goals? What does any of this matter anyway?

If there’s one thing that can stop the negative voices in my brain, it’s exercise. As soon as I hear the Debbie downers in my head fighting for the last word I get my running gear on, lace up my shoes, and run out the door. (But don’t just run out the door, stretch first!!!)

When I’m running, I’m feeling everything and nothing. I get to see so much of the city in such a short amount of time and it just makes me feel like I am part of something, that the things I do in life do matter. And more importantly: the things I want to do in life are plausible. In that moment I feel like I can be whoever I want, do anything I want to do, and I leave the rest behind me.

I never felt that before I started running.