What Doesn’t Kill You Still Hurts Like Hell… Get Over It

I have a LOT of clients going through break ups right now. A LOT. Most of them got dumped, so I hear a lot of depressing details. I’ve listened and learned. Here’s my open letter to broken hearts everywhere:

1. If they dumped you, they don’t want to date you. Definitely get your “revenge body”, but don’t do it if you think that will win them back. Don’t use social media to “run into them” at a bar where you’re dressed to kill. Chances are they actually put some thought in before they let you go… don’t be desperate.
2. You’re not a loser. Just because ONE PERSON in this world doesn’t want to be with you doesn’t mean 100 others don’t. Stop thinking small.
3. Don’t talk shit. Don’t say bad things about them. Better yet, don’t talk about them at all. The more you talk about them the more they will be in your world. Hopefully you’ve gotten to a place where you realize there will be no making up, so let them go.
4. You’re lucky. You get a new beginning! Think of all the people in this world stuck in dead-end relationships. Maybe they stay together for the kids, maybe to save face, or maybe because they’re too weak to say you know what, it’s going to be hard being alone but I know it needs to happen. Wouldn’t you rather wish you had a relationship than wish you didn’t?
5. Find yourself again. You were buried in the twists and turns of a clearly failing relationship. You let yourself go and began loving someone else more than yourself. Or maybe you didn’t and that’s why you got dumped… either way- you get to be YOU again.
6. Thank that person because they did you a favor. They got you out of a relationship with someone who clearly either can’t stick it out, or who isn’t right for you (or both).
7. You always have been and always will be OK. Why? Because you have to be. You honestly don’t have another option. It’s either don’t get over it, or do and move on. Wouldn’t you rather have the latter?

It sucks getting over someone, it really does. So give it a good cry, feel the sadness, then let it go. You are strong and don’t ever forget it.

Flawless

The issue I want to rant about today comes to me after a day full of female clients in their mid -late 20s. I like to chat to pass the time, and also to guarantee that though I put them through hell they like me enough to come back next time. We chat about everything from jobs to families to dreams, but there’s one thing we ALWAYS end of talking about: relationships. Girls who don’t have a relationship want one, and girls who have one will put up with all sorts of BS to keep it.

Let me give you a personal example. This summer I got a raise at work, expanded my side business to double what it was a few months before, and lost about 10 lbs. That sounds awesome right?! WRONG. Why? Because I’m officially boyfriend-less, and I’m already feeling the pressure to find another one. Now if I were a man everyone would congratulate me on my accomplishments in addition to “ditching the crazy girl” and take my out drinking. Since I’m a woman they are all concerned that I ended it too hastily and I should reconsider. Never mind that it was sucking the life out of me and giving me anxiety almost all the time, at least I had a boyfriend.

WAKE UP PEOPLE! Being single isn’t the end! I know no one wants to be an “old bride”, but what is old? I’m 27 and I don’t consider that to be old. I also don’t consider 30 to be old. Would I be a 30 year old bride? Sure. Would I be a 35 year old bride? Sure. “But Meena, if you get married when you’re 35 you have to start having kids right away! The clock is ticking!”. To this I have a comeback. I would rather wait for the right one and be an “old bride” then marry some “nice young man” with whom I have a “nice time”. I don’t want a nice time. I want a GREAT time. I want an “omg I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life” kind of time. And how about the success I’ve gained in that 35 years?! How about the great life I’ve created for myself? Does that mean nothing just because I find most men to be mediocre? It shouldn’t.

To end my rant, I want to quote one of my favorite TED Talks with Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I later heard it in a Beyonce song which makes me love it even more!

“Because I am female I’m expected to aspire to marriage. I’m expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now, marriage can be a good thing. It can be a source of joy and love and mutual support, but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same?”

Break up to Make up (with yourself)

Today’s post is inspired by my new Nikes (cue angels singing):  

I want to tell everyone a little background on myself. I first started running a few years back after I was cliche-ly dumped by the worst human ever. I never thought I would survive (mostly because I was 21 and didn’t know if I could survive even minuscule adversity). My friend told me to start running just to put all my heart and soul into something healthy instead of crying all day (which is definitely what I was doing). Now here I am 5 years later and once again freshly single. Only there’s a difference, and this is what I want my rant to be today. Don’t ever measure the success of yourself on whether or not you’re in a relationship. 

I hear this all the time (especially from women). They’ve got a great job, great friends, great family but they are depressed because they’re single. I get it because up until ohhhh about 3 weeks ago I believed this as well, which is why I spent the last year being unhappy in a relationship. I told myself “it’s not the best, but it’s better than being single”. I put up with so much and changed my own values so much to stay with this person. Why? Because people in relationships THINK they are happier. We are culturally wired to want companionship and that is not a bad thing!! Unless you’re compromising what you want for what you think you “need”. 

So why the Nikes? They are my “Congrats on being brave enough to walk away” present to myself. Be good to YOU. Be your own best friend! Be the one that makes YOU happiest. No one else can be totally responsible for your happiness other than YOU. If you’re out there realizing you have to do a little reality check on your life don’t worry- you’re not alone! Look around you. You’re surrounded by amazing people and resources. Look at all the support you have, look at your potential. You are not alone. We have all been through it. Now slip on your Nikes, Brooks, Asics, etc (no Crocs please) and begin your journey on the road to happiness! 

Give and You Shall Receive

My clients ask me why I’m so happy all the time. I don’t really have an answer other than to say that no one is happy all the time. Everyone has to cry it out. Everyone has to accept the fact that they are sad, afraid, angry, etc. You hear people say that happiness is a choice. I’m sure a lot of you have differing opinions on that. I up until recently thought that was what some uppity housewife in Beverly Hills said as she drank her soy latte in her new Maserati. However, I’m realizing now that she (or whoever) has got a point.

Consider this: You wake up in the morning groggy and irritated. Well now you’re screwed because the scrambling around the house before work and the booking it down the freeway and the hitting every red light definitely isn’t going to help your mood. But what if on your way out the door you said, “wow I’m so lucky I have a job”. And when you’re speeding down the freeway you thought, “wow I’m lucky I have a car that works”. And what if you just thanked your lucky stars for a few minutes that you are alive and you are able to have thoughts at all?

I don’t wake up every morning itching to conquer the day. I wake up like everyone else- actively wishing I had 5 more minutes (x100). The difference though, is that I wake up thankful for what I have. I send gratitude out into the world. I choose to be happy. I choose to “turn that frown upside down” as it were. Bad things happen to me, but I refuse to let them hold me down. And when I weigh the good in my life vs the bad… it’s no contest.

Try this: every night before you go to bed think of 5 things you’re grateful for. I know this sounds silly but the only way it will work is if you believe. When you wake up in the morning, be grateful for those things again.

I’ll give you mine:

1. I am grateful for my family whose love and support has encouraged me to be brave and conquer any situation.

2. I am grateful for my friends. It’s very humbling to know that there are people in this world who don’t have to love you unconditionally, but still choose to 🙂

3. I’m grateful for my job- a constant reminder that if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.

4. I’m grateful for my clients. I’m surrounded on a daily basis by the wisest people around. Their stories and experiences have had such a profoundly positive impact on me and my life.

5. I’m grateful for this able body. I have all 5 (and sometimes 6) senses. I am able to do many difficult and seemingly crazy physical challenges. And besides a little foot problem I have zero aches and pains.

Alright, now it’s your turn. Send gratitude into the world. Give and you shall receive. 🙂

The Rundown Remastered

I fall off the blogging wagon a lot. Not because I’m lazy but because I lose track of the purpose. Am I trying to motivate/entertain others? I would like to, but who is actually reading this? And are they getting something out of it? How did you find this blog? Will you read another post? Do you like playing 21 questions?

A wise man once said to me, “you don’t blog for others, you blog for yourself”. I believe that is the truest blogging-related wisdom there is. 

I don’t run to be fit. I don’t run to impress others. I run for my own sanity. I run to hear the wind whipping past my face and to feel the oxygen flooding my lungs. As my feet hit the pavement I can almost hear the stress of the day eating my dust, falling further and further behind me until I have an unbeatable lead. 

A feeling like that never leaves you. It infiltrates your mind until nothing else stands a chance. 

I will write for myself but I hope to touch your inner running soul and help you find what it is you’re searching for.

If you run to be skinny, I wish you all the best. If you run to feel alive, welcome.

I Stretched Pre-Run and I Liked It

Text from one of my friends this morning:

Friend: Hey so I went on a run today but my calf muscle was stiff the whole time… wtf?
Me: What pre-run stretching did you do?
Friend: None. That’s so boring I can’t do it.

Listen up people- you HAVE TO STRETCH/WARM-UP!

I’m not trying to be bad cop, but it’s SO SO important that you wake up your muscles before work-out. I don’t care what type of exercise you’re doing- it’s SUPER important to stretch.

Let me tell you a story to better explain my point. It was my freshman year of college, one day before my first exam. Obviously I had no idea what I was doing so I studied for maybe 30 minutes and then hung out with my friends all night. The next day the professor passed out the exams and I realized that I knew the answers to exactly zero questions. Panic ensued. I felt like an idiot. I failed.

In this situation, my freshman self is your body during a work-out. If you don’t prepare, your body will not perform the way you want it to. I know it’s not glamorous, but you need to stretch and warm-up your muscles before and after you exercise. If you’re not sure what kind of stretching you should be doing, Runner’s World has a great how-to video. (You’re welcome RW).

 

Just Breathe

Lesson of the day: breathing.

A lot of you ask me how to get rid of that side pain just below your rib cage during a workout. Well, chances are that pain is the result of poor breathing.

Now you’re probably asking yourself, “why is this woman trying to tell me how to do something I’ve been doing my whole life?”
Well that’s a great question. I trust your ability to breathe for the purposes of staying alive, I don’t trust you to remember to breathe deeply during a run or workout. 

If you’re like me, you get so caught up in how badly you want to stop, that you find yourself taking quick breaths in and out. That is a recipe for disaster. ALWAYS remember to push all the air out of your body before taking another breath. When you breathe in and out very quickly, you’ll find that side ache coming back.

In short: stand upright (or run upright), tighten your abs and push all the air out of your body. Remember to do this, and you’ll be feeling much better in no time!

 

Answers I post are good questions from people I coach that I think would be good to address here. If you have a question you’d like me to answer, don’t hesitate to comment below!

So, is running for you?

Let me tell you a story:

A few years ago I was a short, chubby little Persian girl with serious self-esteem issues. I felt like everyone around me had everything going for them and I had nothing. I didn’t know who I was or what I was supposed to be doing in life. I think we’ve all been there.

I decided that step one was to get in shape. I had run off and on throughout my life but this time I was going to try to run an actual race. I asked my friend, a seasoned marathon runner, to help me train and before you knew it I was running like no one’s business!

….OK that’s a huge joke I was actually the worst runner ever and felt like such a fatty at the gym running next to all these in shape people (you know the ones- the people who run and ZERO fat jiggles on their body. ZERO. How does that even happen?).

ANYWAY, I did the whole cover your treadmill screen with your towel so no one sees how slow you’re actually going thing. I also did the ol’ stop and appear to be nursing an injury for a minute when really you’re so out of breath after running for approximately 2 minutes that you need to take a minute before you pass out/die thing.

I wanted to give up SO many times…then about two weeks in, something miraculous happened. (And by the way I don’t use the word “miraculous” lightly. The only other thing in my life that would be “miraculous” would be running into Beyoncé on the street and becoming best friends with her.)

I mean seriously, how bad ass is she? Running into her on the street would be the highlight of your life and you know it.

Anyhoo back to my (second most) miraculous event. I remember it so well. I was on the treadmill (hanging on for dear life, per usual) and after mile 2, nonstop I might add, I just got this rush of adrenaline which I guessed was what they refer to as the “runner’s high”. After that I was hooked. I couldn’t get enough. I would sit at my desk at work all day and count the minutes until I could leave and go to the gym. Yeah that’s right, I wanted to go to the gym. I looked forward to it. 

And you can too. Try it out. I know running seems daunting but just give it a shot and see what happens!

The Rundown

I may not have the perfect body, but I do know how to maintain a healthy weight despite having a stocky body with an irritatingly slow metabolism. I also know what it’s like to resent naturally slender people with small frames, and I know a lot of people reading this post do too.

But if you know what I’m talking about you also know that you can’t live your life wishing you could change something that you just can’t change. You can never change your bone structure, but you can make a serious effort to keep your weight/blood pressure/cholesterol down and live a healthy and active lifestyle.

This is where I (this blog) come in. Obviously this is mostly a running blog, but my goal here is to give inspiration to people who work really hard at the gym and still go “WHAT THE F****?!” when they step on the scale. This blog is for people who say “NO!” to sweets and still see that sugar/carb infested tire around their midsection. Yeah, I know what that’s like and it’s hellza annoying.

Consider me that friend that you can always vent to and no matter how long your rant is I will always come back with incredibly soothing and accurate feedback. Consider me that person you immediately call when you get frustrated about literally anything.

Consider me a helping hand. This is The Rundown.